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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539452">I'm a monster</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi__Acker_Gay/pseuds/Levi__Acker_Gay'>Levi__Acker_Gay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dark/DemonAlec Lightwood [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Demon Alec Lightwood, Human Experimentation, Self-Hatred</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:41:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi__Acker_Gay/pseuds/Levi__Acker_Gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec was a monster and no one could have convinced him otherwise. Specifically, he was a demon, in human skin. Born a freak, an experiment.</p><p>What if Alec was Valentine's first experiment?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood &amp; Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood &amp; Jace Wayland, Clary Fray &amp; Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dark/DemonAlec Lightwood [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm a monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec was a monster and no one could have convinced him otherwise. Specifically, he was a demon, in human skin. Born a freak, an experiment, and a failed, rejected one at that.<br/>
With a mix of demon blood and angel blood: both powerful demon and angel. It had been a surprise that he had lived.</p><p> </p><p>Even he had thought - and hoped - that the two very different mixes of blood would have killed him; angel amd demon blood don't mix well, but no. It seemed the whole universe was against him: he lived.</p><p> </p><p>However, what hung over his head like a dark cloud was the constant risk of hurting his parents, and his siblings, who didn't even know. <em>So they couldn't even defend themseleves from him. </em> He had been taught and trained seprately from them, his parents and Hodge using the excuse of an age difference to hide the extra things he was forced to learn, and the fact that he was different.</p><p> </p><p>He was taught to control his anger, his emotions, as they were the main thing that gave away he was a monster.</p><p> </p><p>Anger and being very upset affected Alec's more demonic nature, which was more noticable with his eyes turning fully black. Though all extreme could set it off, some more easily than others: he wasn't entirely sure himself, neither did he want to fully know.</p><p> </p><p>However, the contraversial thing was that when he was either very happy or excited, his isrises turned gold, but that had always been rare for him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why would a demonic monster be happy?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When Clary and mundane entered their lives, it became much more harder to contol himself and keep his emotions in check. Isabelle had asked what was wrong with him. It had been one of the worst things that had happened to him, probably second to becoming parabatai with Jace. He didn't want his siblings to know, let alone two strangers, as Alec didn't want them to hate him. It was bad enough he hated himself.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>When Clary had glanced at the group of shadowhunters, her eyes glancing over all of them until she found Jace. However, something made her look at Alec longer, the reason unknown to herself. However, when she saw him, she knew why. She had to do a double-take when she saw him: well, specifically his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Alec's eyes were completely black, even the sclera.</p><p> </p><p>Almost as if feeling her gaze, Alec looked up from where he was standing talking to Jace and another shadowhunter, and smiled.<br/>
The almost predatory smile sent shivers down her spine, freezing her blood. Her instincts urged her to run or attack. She blinked and his eyes were his usual dark blue, but she could not shake the demonic feeling she'd felt staring at him; the kind she got before she faced the greater demon.</p><p> </p><p>He walked forward and reached out for her, but she flinched back violently and stumbled into her mother, Jocelyn. "Are you alright Clary?" she asked, grabbing hold of her shoulders to steady her before she could fall. Clary, stunned, could only nod.</p><p> </p><p>Jace came upp to Clary, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "You sure you okay? You look like you saw a ghost or something" he laughed.</p><p> </p><p>"Or something" she mumbled, and attemoted a smile.</p><p> </p><p>Clary hastily looked around the room again, but Alec was gone. It had seemed he had run before she'd hade the chance to flee, or confront him, or tell someone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But who could she tell, who would believe her?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Clary glanced back up at Jace, and then to Isabelle, who was now talking to Simon. She decided that she would talk to Isabelle.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's short, and sorry for any mistakes<br/>Kudos and comments are welcome<br/>As are suggestions &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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